Guys... my son is officially 4 months old
and I don't really know how I feel about that.
Like, where has the time gone?
And why does it seem like he's growing too fast?
Sometimes I still think it's crazy that he's really here.. with us..
and that he's really mine.
Like he actually grew inside me, in my belly, and is literally half of me and half of my husband.
Isn't that just crazy???
And I can probably watch these two sleep all night.
Like really just sit & stare at them for forever and not get tired of it..
Yea, I'm that kind of mom/wife.
But can I just throw it out there how great of a dad my husband is?!
He's always been really good with kids/babies and my nieces are obsessed with their Uncle Rob :) But to watch him love and take care of our son is now my most favorite thing in the world to see...
But can I just throw it out there how great of a dad my husband is?!
He's always been really good with kids/babies and my nieces are obsessed with their Uncle Rob :) But to watch him love and take care of our son is now my most favorite thing in the world to see...
So, so what if I'm just a little obsessive over my boys?? :)
#shruglife
(can we put hashtags in blogs? no??... ok)
I guess I never really thought about how mind-blown having a child of your own really is because it's just something that kinda happens all the time. 'Cause I mean, when I sit and reeeaaallly think about it, I'm just in awe. Lol. Flabbergasted, is really the word that comes to mind.
Maybe it's just me, or maybe you understand too. But after having a baby and going through the whole process (pregnancy, birth, postpartum, etc) women are seriously superheroes in my opinion. All women.
And props to my fellow c-section mamas because that recovery (or at least my recovery) was horrific. ... Does that sound dramatic enough? Because it was just that.
Seriously, the hardest recovery I've ever had, compared to my other two that were vaginal deliveries.
I knew that it was going to be a little tough because people told me so..... but I really didn't think I was prepared for alla' dat.
And I'm fully aware that it's not like that for everyone and some women recover better than others. But I was unfortunately one of those who got the short end of the stick.
And I'm fully aware that it's not like that for everyone and some women recover better than others. But I was unfortunately one of those who got the short end of the stick.
The best way I could describe it would be like if there was a planet of sucky-ness in outer space, where all things that were horrible lived there and everything just sucked all the time and all the aliens hated their lives because it sucked and nothing ever worked out in their favor.... then I would be the first human specie to survive on that planet.
(Don't ask me where I come up with this stuff. This is literally how my mind works.)
(Don't ask me where I come up with this stuff. This is literally how my mind works.)
And on top of recovering, I was also having to deal with the passing of my dad and preparing for his funeral which didn't make things any easier.
That I will probably leave for another post.
That I will probably leave for another post.
But THIS...
....THIS is the smile I wake up to every morning and the reason why all of that pain I went through was worth it :)
During the physical healing process of it all I was thinking to myself,
"Why in the world would anyone go through this again and again??? I'm never, EVER doing this again!"
but now I know and completely get why someone would go through it again... and it's because there is no other greater feeling in this world than looking at a soul that you created and being amazed that your body was once a home to this perfect little face and could probably be a home to more if you just let it.
The 6-8 weeks of recovery is definitely worth the lifetime of smiles, hugs and kisses that you'll be giving & getting.
"Why in the world would anyone go through this again and again??? I'm never, EVER doing this again!"
but now I know and completely get why someone would go through it again... and it's because there is no other greater feeling in this world than looking at a soul that you created and being amazed that your body was once a home to this perfect little face and could probably be a home to more if you just let it.
The 6-8 weeks of recovery is definitely worth the lifetime of smiles, hugs and kisses that you'll be giving & getting.
So far... I've learned a few things about being a new mommy..
*sidenote: I know I have like a gazillion other things I need to learn but give this rookie mom a break, k?! :P
1) It's harder than it looks.
**Ok so this one is kind've a no-brainer, right? Wrong.... for me at least. hahaha.
I babysat my nieces all the time so I literally thought I had the "mommy swag" down to a T.
URNT.
I got reality checked.
Sometimes I would hear my sister(s) get up in the middle of the night when their babies would cry to eat and I was usually up too so I would try and help if I could. Not that bad, right? Wrong again. Lol.
When they said that you won't be getting any sleep. I thought, "Well I don't really sleep anyways so it should be cake." hahahha holy cow! if I could go back in time and slap myself, I would do it. I'm realizing now that you really don't see what goes on behind the scenes at being a mom. Even with my husband helping me, I was a hot mess. lol.
*sidenote: I know I have like a gazillion other things I need to learn but give this rookie mom a break, k?! :P
1) It's harder than it looks.
**Ok so this one is kind've a no-brainer, right? Wrong.... for me at least. hahaha.
I babysat my nieces all the time so I literally thought I had the "mommy swag" down to a T.
URNT.
I got reality checked.
Sometimes I would hear my sister(s) get up in the middle of the night when their babies would cry to eat and I was usually up too so I would try and help if I could. Not that bad, right? Wrong again. Lol.
When they said that you won't be getting any sleep. I thought, "Well I don't really sleep anyways so it should be cake." hahahha holy cow! if I could go back in time and slap myself, I would do it. I'm realizing now that you really don't see what goes on behind the scenes at being a mom. Even with my husband helping me, I was a hot mess. lol.
2) It's perfectly fine if you're wearing your Sunday pajamas on Wednesday because you haven't showered, brushed your teeth or fixed your hair.
**After having Noa and returning home from the hospital, I had a really hard time adjusting back into my normal life because this time around I had to surround my schedule around my baby's schedule. And him having to be fed every 2-3 hours, be rocked to sleep and then having anxiety that he might not be breathing while sleeping........ so you stay up to check if his heart is beating every 10 minutes. Not to mention realizing that it's almost 5pm and you haven't eaten anything at all that day...... it's pretty exhausting! Luckily, it has gotten a whole lot easier and I finally have my "mommy routine" down. But it def wasn't easy in the beginning.
3) There is no right or wrong way.
**I always thought that when you have a baby there are certain things that you HAVE TO do when it comes to raising them. Yes, there are some common sense things that you just don't teach your child and yes, you want them to have good habits. But I've definitely learned to stop comparing my parenting skills to others and to just do things the way that I know how and in the best way that I could.
4) Diapers, diapers aaaaaaand more diapers...
**I guess I never really realized how much diapers and wipes a baby really goes through. Again, I knew that they needed a lot. But that is just it, they really do need A WHOLE LOT. Lol.
5) Can you really have too much onesies?
**Pretty sure my son goes through his onesies just about as often as he goes through his diapers. And gosh dang do they grow hecka fast! Some of the onesies that I have, Noa only wore once. But am i missing something here? I hate when his onesies get dirty because I want him to be in a clean one at all times. Two cents are welcome! Ha
6) "ME" time is important.
**being a stay-at-home mom has been a huge blessing because there is no other thing I would do other than care for my son and watch him grow. But it can also be very challenging and at times, mentally draining. So i've definitely learned that getting some time to yourself to just regroup and refocus are much needed. When my husband gets home after work, the first thing he says to me is, "I'll watch Noa if you need to go anywhere or do anything or if you just wanna get away for a minute.." :) it's definitely the little things that count.
7) DO NOT.. I repeat, DO NOT go to Target when you & baby have nothing to do.
**I'm sure I don't really need to explain this one. But let's talk about why Target gotta have such cute baby clothes, though?!
8) You know you & your spouse have become parents when you guys are arguing over who made the baby's bottle too hot.
**I know this one doesn't really make sense but this made me laugh thinking about it today. The other night my husband yelled at me for making the bottle too hot.... then when Baby's 2nd feeding round came along he ended up making it too hot also and we both sat there and whisper-argued for like 15 minutes so we don't wake the baby hahaha
9) Just relax.
**This one took me a minute to grasp. At first I was getting worked up over the littlest things until I realized that everything is fine if I just let it be fine. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist.... so when I was being a nazi over when and how the bottles should be washed, I realized I needed to just breathe a little bit. haha.
10) A whole new meaning of love.
**I seriously love my nieces with all of me. But it's true when they say that having your own is different. I still absolutely love my nieces to death and treat them like my own. But the bond you create and the feelings you have when you're in the hospital holding your baby for the first time is so far beyond me.
Like, do you know those chocolate croissants at Starbucks? I probably could eat like 5 a day if I could. They've been my latest obsession. One bite of that melt-in-your-mouth goodness and I die a little inside because it's so heavenly.
Well, to me, this is so much better than that.
I'm sure some of you are reading these and thinking, "Come on Nikki, get it together!" haha. But trust me when I say that I'm definitely trying and just being honest with myself along the way lol.
Regardless of the struggles that I've gone through and will probably go through in the future when it comes to being a parent and raising my kid(s) while still trying to be a good wife to my amazing husband.... i'm sooooooooo grateful for this life that i'm currently living and for the people who are in it.
xoxo,
nik
**After having Noa and returning home from the hospital, I had a really hard time adjusting back into my normal life because this time around I had to surround my schedule around my baby's schedule. And him having to be fed every 2-3 hours, be rocked to sleep and then having anxiety that he might not be breathing while sleeping........ so you stay up to check if his heart is beating every 10 minutes. Not to mention realizing that it's almost 5pm and you haven't eaten anything at all that day...... it's pretty exhausting! Luckily, it has gotten a whole lot easier and I finally have my "mommy routine" down. But it def wasn't easy in the beginning.
3) There is no right or wrong way.
**I always thought that when you have a baby there are certain things that you HAVE TO do when it comes to raising them. Yes, there are some common sense things that you just don't teach your child and yes, you want them to have good habits. But I've definitely learned to stop comparing my parenting skills to others and to just do things the way that I know how and in the best way that I could.
4) Diapers, diapers aaaaaaand more diapers...
**I guess I never really realized how much diapers and wipes a baby really goes through. Again, I knew that they needed a lot. But that is just it, they really do need A WHOLE LOT. Lol.
5) Can you really have too much onesies?
**Pretty sure my son goes through his onesies just about as often as he goes through his diapers. And gosh dang do they grow hecka fast! Some of the onesies that I have, Noa only wore once. But am i missing something here? I hate when his onesies get dirty because I want him to be in a clean one at all times. Two cents are welcome! Ha
6) "ME" time is important.
**being a stay-at-home mom has been a huge blessing because there is no other thing I would do other than care for my son and watch him grow. But it can also be very challenging and at times, mentally draining. So i've definitely learned that getting some time to yourself to just regroup and refocus are much needed. When my husband gets home after work, the first thing he says to me is, "I'll watch Noa if you need to go anywhere or do anything or if you just wanna get away for a minute.." :) it's definitely the little things that count.
7) DO NOT.. I repeat, DO NOT go to Target when you & baby have nothing to do.
**I'm sure I don't really need to explain this one. But let's talk about why Target gotta have such cute baby clothes, though?!
8) You know you & your spouse have become parents when you guys are arguing over who made the baby's bottle too hot.
**I know this one doesn't really make sense but this made me laugh thinking about it today. The other night my husband yelled at me for making the bottle too hot.... then when Baby's 2nd feeding round came along he ended up making it too hot also and we both sat there and whisper-argued for like 15 minutes so we don't wake the baby hahaha
9) Just relax.
**This one took me a minute to grasp. At first I was getting worked up over the littlest things until I realized that everything is fine if I just let it be fine. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist.... so when I was being a nazi over when and how the bottles should be washed, I realized I needed to just breathe a little bit. haha.
10) A whole new meaning of love.
**I seriously love my nieces with all of me. But it's true when they say that having your own is different. I still absolutely love my nieces to death and treat them like my own. But the bond you create and the feelings you have when you're in the hospital holding your baby for the first time is so far beyond me.
Like, do you know those chocolate croissants at Starbucks? I probably could eat like 5 a day if I could. They've been my latest obsession. One bite of that melt-in-your-mouth goodness and I die a little inside because it's so heavenly.
Well, to me, this is so much better than that.
I'm sure some of you are reading these and thinking, "Come on Nikki, get it together!" haha. But trust me when I say that I'm definitely trying and just being honest with myself along the way lol.
Regardless of the struggles that I've gone through and will probably go through in the future when it comes to being a parent and raising my kid(s) while still trying to be a good wife to my amazing husband.... i'm sooooooooo grateful for this life that i'm currently living and for the people who are in it.
nik
