four days

So as most of you already know, let me fill those who don't on whats been going on (behind the scenes) these past few weeks..

I no longer have a boyfriend..... because he is now my fiance :) Robert and I decided that we definitely do not want to have to go through another dilemma like we did when I left to Missouri and he stayed here in Utah. Call us crazy, but if staying with him means getting married and going with him to Arkansas... then I guess we're crazy. But I don't want anyone thinking that that's the ONLY reason why I'm marrying him. I could list a million and one things of WHY I wanna marry him. Everyone has their opinions though, but needless to say..... nobodys perfect. Since day 1, we've always known that we wanted to marry each other. It was just a matter of 'WHEN?'.

After having long talks with our siblings, we gathered up enough courage to tell our parents. Surprisingly, our parents were happy for us (: It was sucha relief to know they were gonna support us 110%. So lately we've just been doing some last minute planning, nothing big.. but special enough for me and Rob.

Currently still planning, Rob and I will be getting married in FOUR days. Yea thats right.. FOUR.

F-O-U-R

Lol. We really are a buncha crazy lovebirds uh??

.xOxO.

got beauty?

Went shoppin' with the bff today, and she bought this long strap across the shoulder purse. I love it :)

I'm obsessed.

Do you "got beauty"?

If you don't, I suggest you go.. right now! :)

.xOxO.

fired.

Yes, I am talking about myself. I think if blogging were a job I'd be FIRED, because I've just come to realize that I effing suck at blogging :( LOL- it's kind've depressing when everyone else on my blog list has updates weekly and here I am, with almost a month without updating. Uggggghhhh, I oughtta shoot myself between the eyes for that one. I could say I've been busy? But then again, if coming home from work (Oh yea! Did you guys know I work now? Prob not cause I haven't blogged about it..*refer to title*) & sleeping till the sun rises the next mornin' counts as busy................ then I guess I really was busy! Lol. Eh.. no not really.

Anyways, let's update shall we?

Sooo...

my first job.

Did I mention it was my FIRST? As in, I've never worked before in my life. Lol- it sounds sooooo bad when I say it like that, but I never worked cause well... volleyball had consumed eeeeeverything. I know I shouldn't use that as an excuse since there are plenty of volleyball players out there who are doing school, volleyball AND work. But my dad just wanted us to focus on volleyball. So for my very first job (lol), I work as a group leader for a summer school program at an elementary...... yes, it's not that serious guys. But hey, it's a START! :) lol. So pretty much I take care of kids (3rd and 4th graders to be exact). It gets irritating at times but I learn something new everyday I'm with those kids, whether it be good or bad. Lol. Since it's only a summer thing, our program ends tomorrow.... so why dontcha take a wild guess on what I'm gonna do since I won't be working anymore!?

*please, keep your negative comments to yourself :)

Sister's wedding.

My older sister Maile (also known as "Brit") had gotten married last month. Which I should've blogged about because it turned out amazing, but didn't. Hence the title of my post :/ My sister looked beautiful on her wedding day and I'm extremely happy for her. I haven't seen her in four days and it's been GRRRREAT! Lol. Ok that was rude- no but really. It's a little weird that I'm the only girl in the house now and that I don't see her often or as much as I used to since her and her husband live in Ogden. Since both my sisters have moved out I feel like I'm a complete loser. Lol. With just me and my brothers home, I find myself going downstairs in my brothers room and just sitting there watching him play his game.... he always gives me that look like, "Uh, can I help you?!" Lol. But I just go down there for company :) ....he knows he loves having me around :)

Boyfriend.

Me and boyfriend are doing aaaaaaaamazing :) He still loves me, but what's new? Lol. Kidding- A couple of weeks ago we decided to have a "treat ourselves" weekend. We planned to go hiking, then breakfast at HIS fave pancake place. Then shopping and dinner at our fave restaraunt. But the whole "treat ourselves" weekend turned into a "treat just Nikki" weekend. Lol- which I had absolutely NOTHING to do with, he did it ALL :) On top of shopping and such, he surprised me with a 90 minute massage appointment at this aaaaamazing spa (Am I saying 'amazing' too much? Hmm, if I am then it's cause everything really was 'amazing'.. so deal with it. lol). Isn't he just thee greatest though? I sure think so :) I mean, sometimes I think to myself, "Where on earth do you find a guy like this?!"-- oh that's right, no where because he is ONE-OF-A-KIND ;) lol. Ok I should stop now...... but on a good note, it really was an amazing weekend. Not to mention that he said to me, "You should blog about this.." Lol. This guy, right!?

Gotta love em'

.xOxO.

HE really does work in mysterious ways.

So a few posts ago, I had said that I was going to make it a goal to blog every Sunday just to give a heads up as to what was going to happen for that week... So much for that goal right!? Lol. But anyways, I honestly can't tell you everything that has happened since my last post. Let's just say this past weekend was MORE THAN ENOUGH, but all in a good way. I don't even know where to start!

This is probably really sad and I know you all are gonna think I'm a bad daughter, but one day I just happened to realize that I knew absolutely nothing about my mothers past. Like NOTHING. I didn't know where she went to school, I didn't know how many brothers or sisters she had, didn't know where she grew up... All I really knew was that she was born in Samoa and came to the United States when she was young. I also have, till this day, never met my grandpa and my grandma had only came down and visited at least once or twice. Only because tickets from Samoa were so expensive and we or they just never had the money. They still live in Samoa with my moms youngest sister though, I think.

Through time I started meeting people who I later found out were my cousins on my moms side. I was happy because my siblings and I usually spend our family functions at my dads side of the family. Not that that was a problem but I was always just so curious why we never, and I mean NEVER, did things for my moms side. Every time I tried asking her about her past, she always changed the subject or became very bitter and would ask me to leave her alone. I never understood that, until now.

A couple of weeks ago, I had recieved an email from a female friend on facebook. I remember adding this her awhile back before I left to college but I didn't know her then nor have I ever seen her before that but it was just my understanding that we were related on my moms side (the joys of Facebook right!? LOL) and with polynesians, you know how that goes. Lol- but anyways, since my sister's wedding is coming up we were having alotta trouble trying to hand out invitations to family members, even if we never met them. So I decided to write her a message asking for her address, and her reply was something I NEVER expected.

Reading the message, I was speechless. Completely stuck and lost for words. At first I was really angry, but not definitely not at her............... I was mad at my mom. Mad for not telling her kids and mad that she had kept this a secret from us for so long.

Her name is Tupouleota, and she is my older half sister :)

I don't think anyone could imagine that look on my face and my reaction when I was reading this message, the message from her telling me that she is my moms eldest daughter. I was angry (at my mom), shocked (at such BIG news), sad (for her that she grew up knowing she had siblings but never really got the chance to meet them till now), and happy (that I had another sister!) ..it was all just mixed emotions. When my dad came home, I showed him the message and to my surprise he said he knew about it all along but felt as though it was my moms place to tell us, not his. That's when he sat me down and explained to me my moms story.

My mom was born in Samoa and when she was 2 years old, my grandma had given her up to a friend of the family who brought her to California and raised her as their own. That was also the last time she saw her siblings. She went to highschool, but not college.. and the apparently the family she had lived with treated her badly. Which explains why my moms bitter most of the time. Then 4 years after that she had Tupou, but left her in California and came to Utah. Where she met my dad.

After confronting my mom about it she broke down in tears and asked if she could have Pous number so she could call and speak with her. This past Saturday was my moms 48th birthday, but there was also a wedding that was going on that same day........... and if things weren't crazy enough.. Tupou was related to the groom of that wedding and had planned on coming down to Salt Lake this past weekend. Coincidence? I think not. Lol.

Long story short, my sisters and I had planned to meet up with her before she left back to California. On our way to pick her up, Pumpkin and I were sitting in the car with our stomachs filled with butterflies. Lol. We were nervous yet excited yet scared she wouldn't like us.. all at the same time. Lol. Right when we saw her, Pumpkin and I got out of the car to give her a hug and the very first thing we noticed was that she looked just like our mom! :) Not kidding. She was small and petite just like her too..... Ain't it crazy how things work out? :)

So we decided to take her out to Leatherbys and just get to know her a little bit.

My 1st thought about her:

She's so pretty

2nd thought:

She sounds like an amazing independent young woman

3rd thought:

Why can't I be skinny like her? Lol..

..I think the whole time we were there I just kept staring at her thinking to myself how crazy it was that she looked like my mom! Lol. Same size, same hands, same facial features.. Is that creepy? The more kept describing herself the more I just saw our mom in her. It was so surreal I almost don't believe it happened. But it did. Afterwards we took her to FINALLY meet my mom after 25 years.. I think I was more nervous than she was! Lol. But watching my mom walk towards her with open arms and then watching the both of them hugging each other with tears of joy in both their eyes was truly the most loving and heart-warming thing I've ever seen in my life. Pumpkin and I just stood there watching them with our eyes filled with tears of joy as well.

I'm happy for my mom who finally got to meet her eldest daughter, and I'm happy for Tupou that she finally got to meet her mother. My siblings and I will forever be grateful that Heavenly Father led her to us and the He helped fill in the emptiness that our family had. Our time with her was short but we are very much looking forward to hopefully seeing her again in the near future.

The lord really does work in mysterious ways. I know he has a plan for all of us and by following it we'll get to eternal happiness. Even though sometimes things happen and you don't understand WHY or HOW it happened, sometimes you get caught in a situation where you feel as though EVERYTHING is going wrong or falling apart, or even when some of the things you don't expect to happen... Just happen. But we just have to remember that it's all for a reason :)

Till next time..

.xOxO.

Speaking my mind.

..So my dads mad at me, again. He likes to tell people that I'm his "problem child"- only because I'm always the one telling him how I really feel about things. Whereas britt (my sister right above me) always is too scared to say something. Sometimes she even has me do the dirty work for her.. But i don't mind. My dads just that stubborn type where if someone doesnt say anything, its never gonna change. So today, my dad just comes into my room and says, "Ur speaking on sunday, I told the bishop you'd do it".... The only reason why this made me mad was because my dad has a habit of just volunteering us for things without asking first. So of course I said, "Well jeeze, thanx for asking me first..." Then the aruging began..
If he would've just asked me first, I would've been happy to speak... But the fact that this is what?? The FOURTH time he 's done this?.. Its really starting to take its toll on me.. Ughh.
Jus thought i'd vent for alittle. Lol.

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Quote of the day.

"God answers in 3 ways; He says yes, & gives you what you want. He says no, & gives you something better. Or he says wait, & gives you the best"

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happy for him.

Football has played a significant part in my boyfriends life for a very long time. When I started dating him in highschool, I wasn't able to make much of his games due to my volleyball schedule.. but I would always hear from my friends who were there how good Robb did. I never doubted him once to be a bad player, but it did make me sad that I never really got to see him play. Even though I was never there, he would text me just before the game started and right after it ended. Sometimes he would even text me during halftime, just to say a quick "I love you" before going back in :) but really, football was just something he loved to do. We never really thought he would go far with it... as bad as that sounds. Not that we doubted it, but it was just out of our minds.

He had made plans to go to Snow College and play for 2 years then just be done. But after red-shirting for the first year, he spent that next summer busting his butt in the weight room and doing workouts everyday. I admit, I was a little jealous that Robb was spending time with the weights more than he was with me... Lol. But I got over it once I saw how big his muscles were getting. Lol. Jk ;) I could just tell he was real serious about improving his game on the field. And all that hard work definitely paid off :)

Today, my handsome boyfriend (verbally) committed to the University of Arkansas :) He will be signing the letter of intent next week to make his committment official and I can't tell you how excited I am for him!! :) Words definitely can't describe how proud and how happy I am for him that he's made it this far in his football career. Robb has worked so hard the passed few years and I don't think anyone else deserves this opportunity more then he does. With the support of his family keeping him motivated he has come such a long way... Most people say that everything happens for a reason, and for whatever reason that THIS is happening, I know it's for a good purpose :) for both me, and him.

How bout them razorbacks!? LOL :)