today.

Today Rob & I got our temple recommends :)

It's been a long time coming....... 

but when it feels right, it's right.

life: the update

Hello all :)

It's been quite a few months since I've blogged (obviously) so as you know, this will be an update post on my life and what's been going on since then... 

After being on family medical leave (FMLA) for about a month, I decided to return to work and try [keyword: TRY] to get back into the swing of things. I spent those 4 weeks thinking.... a lot.... about my life... about my family..... about my friends... and I just really, really, really wanted to be able to feel normal again. To put myself back on track. Plus I wanted to be able to stay busy so that I couldn't  spend my days cooped up inside my house feeling sorry for myself.

 I'm sure you all understand. 

For those of you who don't know, I work in the apartment management industry as a leasing agent. My job is pretty simple..... to lease apartments to prospects who are in search of an apartment home. There are lots of other duties that would apply to me as well, however, I will save that for another time. haha. So anyways, I started back at work at a brand new property which, I felt was sort of a relief for me. I had gotten to know a lot of the residents at my former complex and going back to that property after everything that happened would've put me in a situation where I would've had to explain myself to everyone.... and that was something that I honestly did NOT want to do. So this gave me a chance to start fresh at a brand new place with new people and a new mindset.
Once again, the Lord was definitely on my side. [insert thumbs up]

It's been 6 months since and for the first time I actually feel like this is where I need to be. I love and am so grateful for my job. Yes, it could be very stressful and I always be swearin' up and down that I'm gonna quit tomorrow (lol)..... but y'all know I don't be saying anything once payday rolls around. hahaha.

As for me and the husband... 

we just recently celebrated our 4 years of marriage :)

Last year we spent our anniversary in Park City for the weekend at The Waldorf Astoria which was crazy expensive..

[see picture below]

Talk about fancy-shmancy.... 

It was beeeeeautiful inside and the rooms were amazing. But again, very expensive and probably only something we'd do once in awhile and if we were able to stay longer than just two days.

This year we decided to stick with our "staycation" idea but instead of spending the big bucks on the hotel, we decided to go cheap on the hotel and use the big bucks on our activities (a.k.a dinner and shopping... for me! haha).. which ended up working out for us since my mom works at a hotel and got us a honeymoon suite for a lower price. 

We ended up staying on the east side of Salt Lake City closer to the canyons and spent 3 days just enjoying each others company and making the best out of our time together before going back to work.

I was seriously on cloud9 the whole time and I absolutely loved it.

My husband is a very simple man... and I love that it doesn't take much to impress him...

I guess another year married to him wouldn't hurt.. ;) lol - 

But every single day is a new day for the both of us to become better people and better spouses for each other. The end of the year is drawing near and I'm just about ready to see what 2016 has in store for us.

Also, not sure if I mentioned it before, but the he's also been enjoying his job as well. He is a counselor for juvenile kids working full-time for the state of Utah :) It's seriously still so crazy to me that he wakes up every morning and goes to work instead of school..... only because 99.9% of our relationship was mostly spent with him doing something for school and/or football and me..... well.... shoooooooot just doin' me I guess! Lol. But now that that chapter has ended, it's really so awesome to  know that he'll be coming home after work is done. 

........and now for the star of this post. 

My favorite missionary

It's been a little over a year since my brother has been out on the mission field and his weekly e-mails are my constant reminder of how much the Lord loves me. He's matured so much since he's been out there and you can tell that he's fallen in love with the Lords' work and the people of Tonga. On days where I don't feel like myself, I refer to his emails to comfort me and remind me why it's important to not give up.

I am one proud sister.

Elder Lolohea is more than halfway done and I am more than excited to welcome him home this time next year!

Nope, not me! haha 

....my older sister Maile is expecting yet another baby girl this upcoming November! And since that's my birthday month (a.k.a thee best month in the whole entire solar system) I told my sister it only makes sense to name her after me. Lol. Duh! haha

I'm already overly obsessed with all my nieces, so I cannot wait until this little diva makes her debut so I can spoil her rotten.

As for me, I think that for right now I just want to focus on being a healthier me. Or at least motivating myself to actual look like how I feel like on the inside. haha. I was thinking about possibly documenting my journey with my blog but........ I'll just keep that in the back of my mind for now. lol.

So as you can see, i've just kept it pretty mellow these passed few months. Rob and I are anticipating another big trip soon.. hopefully to Australia to visit my other sister and her family.

So we shall see.. :) 

until then,

XOXO

-Nikki

my favorite visitor

I love it when my sister visits from Colorado, because then it means that I get to spend time with this little girl whom I love so much.

My niece, 'Ivahanoa.

We love her company... :)

common marital pet peeves

I was trying to think of interesting things to blog about and I came across an idea where people had posted about their pet peeves within their marriages. Don't get me wrong though, I absolutely ADORE my husband. There is honestly no other person in this entire universe that I would want to share my life other than him. But lets be honest, marriage isn't all about the PDA and the lovey-dovey text messages... you gotta be willing to accept that person for ALL their flaws. Some of which you won't even discover until you start actually living with them. (Usually happens after the honeymoon stage..lol)
So I thought it would be really funny to see what other people found annoying about their spouses and be able to compare it to mine.

1) Distraction by electronic devices.

...Oh my hell, I can't stand it when I tell my husband something or ask him something and look at him to find he's not even listening because he's zoned into his phone. I WILL GRAB YOUR PHONE AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.... and I won't feel bad one bit. Sorry bout it!

2) Disguising empty cartons as full by returning them to the fridge.

....Not a huge issue in my marriage but it does happen from time to time. C'mon now, if it's empty then throw it away!

3) Clothing abandonment, mostly all over the bedroom floor.

....Rob swears it's just my clothes but yet I find myself folding all of his pants and his shirts when I start cleaning haha. This is a problem we BOTH need to work on.

4) Waterboarding towels by leaving them wet on the floor.

...LOL Rob does leave his wet towels everywhere but I don't mind. I just pick 'em up and throw 'em in the hamper.

5) Joke reruns by repeating the same jokes over and over again.

....LMAO this one is probably on my end. I think I'm hilarious and I laugh at my own jokes all the time. Sue me.

6) Trashing the car by leaving trash in it.

....Ouch, me again. This drives my husband nuts.. but I really do leave trash in there with the intentions of cleaning the car out once I get home from work. hahaha.

7) Toilet roll sabotage by not replacing it when it’s empty.

....Omg YES.. especially when the extra rolls are only an arm-length away.. and you are CLEARLY able to reach them but you still don't replace it. Oh, but I also hate when they do actually get and un-wrap the spare roll but then just leave it on top of the sink or on the floor..... like seriously?!! It takes TWO seconds out of your life to change a toilet paper roll, get it together.

8) Rude awakenings by making noise when you’re still sleeping.

....my husband's snore sounds like a bear... but a bear that's getting choked and trying to gasp for air. I literally have to punch his chest to get him to stop.

9) Chewing like a farm animal and other bad table manners.

....HAHAHAHA I'm laughing to keep from crying because my husband tells me all the time that I chew gum like a cow. A "ratchet cow" in his words.. 

10) Chronic lateness.

...Yup, Rob knows I HAAAAAATE waiting.. so when he's late picking me up somewhere I'm in the worst mood ever and can be so rude. lol. My patience is very thin when it comes to my husband and that's something that I'm working on.. hahaha

11) Talking while you’re trying to watch a movie.

...Hahaha damn it! Me again.. Rob absolutely hates whenever I throw in my two cents during movies because 90% of the time I'm right about what happens and it ruins the movie for him. LOL- my bad boo..

12) Bad hygiene by ‘forgetting’ to shower, brush teeth, or change underwear.

...thankfully, my husband actually has really good hygiene.

13) Refusing to suggest specific foods, restaurants, movies, activities.

...haha so i'm indecisive sometimes, so what!?

14) Waiter bullying by being needlessly rude to waiters.

...I was a waitress for my first job so trust me when I say that I understand the struggle. Therefore, I pretty much force my husband to be nice and tip good anytime we go out to eat... haha. 

15) Food pirating by plundering food and deserts off your plate.

...hahaha Rob hates when I do this- Anytime he asks me if I'm hungry, 85% of the time I say no. And then when he has his plate of food and is eating it I ask him if I can have some and then end up eating the rest of it LOL

16) Climate change by manipulating thermostats or windows without previous negotiation.

..yes, I get hot easily during the night and like to leave the window open.. but he gets irritated because he gets cold easily and wants to shut it.. lol. It's a never-ending battle with that.

17) Putting private pictures up without your consent.

...haha this isn't an problem really but majority of the time when Rob & I try to take pictures I ALWAYS look horrible, but he'll look really good. Or when I finally get a good picture of me, he won't like the way he looks so we end up not posting anything haha but sometimes he'll just go right ahead and post one of the ones where he looks hott and I look like I have 4 chins. Yea, EXTRA annoying.

19) Packing the whole closet for an overnight trip.

....I know it irritates Rob when I overpack but HELLO? I'd rather overpack than under-pack.. the last thing I want while on a trip is that I forgot something... so in order to avoid that I pack everything :) haha he complains while i'm packing but he doesn't complain when he forgets something and I was a step ahead of him and packed it for him. lol. Men, I tell ya.... they think they know everything!

20) Turning into a baby at the first sign of a cough or cold.

....Aha! This is me. I seriously expect Rob to do everything and anything for me if I'm sick, even though I'm perfectly capable, and he knows it too, and tells me "You're not a baby". But ends up doing it all for my anyways haha One of the many reasons why I love that guy ;) 

21) Used tissues left around the house.

...this doesn't really fall into the "tissue" category but am I the only one who's husband blows his nose in the kitchen dish towels and then just puts it back on the counter?!

22) Selective hearing.

...one time Rob asked me what I wanted from Taco Bell and I said, "A cheesy double beef burrito."..... then two minutes later he says, "Wait, a cheesy chicken taco what??"

[insert idiot face] OR.. there's always that time when I say to my husband, "We should go eat here, I heard it's really good." and he says, "No I don't want to go there it sounds gross." and then ALL. OF. A. SUDDEN... days later he says to me, "Hey my friend told me about this place to eat at called [insert place that I had told him about] and he said it's good so we should go try it!".......... like reeeeally? That's funny because that was the freaking place I was talking about, you big dummy.

Okay I'm done. haha once again, my husband drives me crazy. But if he can still love me for my bad habits of leaving trash in our car and talking during a movie, then I sure as hell can love him for his selective hearing and his choking bear snoring ;)

what's in your bag?

It's a slow day in the office today.... 

and I've been wanting to do a "what's in your bag?" post ever since I read one that my sister-in-law did awhile back...

To be honest I've never really been into purses until I hit like my senior year of high school. I just didn't care for them.... until I realized how convenient they were and how cute they can be when paired with a good outfit. haha.

This is the one I am currently using and have been for the past 3 months(?).. I normally switch out my purses after awhile but honestly I've just been too lazy to do so..

I got it on sale at Francesca's which is where I've been purchasing my purses from lately. They have thee. cutest. purses. ever.. and I almost always find one I love every time I go in.

Before this one I got a grey one there too that I looooooved but pretty much wore it out until I got tired of it. 

Anyways, here's a pano of what's currently in my bag... I recently cleaned it out too so I apologize if the items I have aren't interesting enough... haha

- my Coach wallet: ..my mom gave me that wallet for my 18th birthday and I've had it ever since. I keep telling myself that I need a new one but every time I go wallet shopping I feel like none of them compare to this one. Or maybe it's just a sentimental thing? I don't know.

- "loveswept" perfume by Philosophy: ...my all-time favorite perfume will forever be "hearts & daggers" by Ed Hardy... but I think it got discontinued awhile ago. This one is just my "back-up" perfume for when I forget to spray before leaving the house. I don't even know where I got it.... I think I took it from my sister the last time she came to visit.

- Pure Daydream lotion from Victoria Secret: ..I won that and a body butter at a bachelorette party (don't ask me how) I went to a couple months ago and I've just kept it in my purse since then. Also for when I wear skirts to work and forget to lotion my legs..

- RayBan sunglasses: ..Rob bought me those sunglasses just before our trip to Hawaii.. I'm surprised it's lasted me this long because I'm notorious for losing sunglasses right after I've purchased them.

- a pay stub: ..whoops, guess I forgot to take that out.

- Make-up bag: ..for those mid-day touch-ups.. which really only has like 4 different brands of black mascara in it and like 6 lip glosses.. all of which are like the same color.

- Anastasia Brow Wiz: ....my holy grail-  I NEVER leave my house without filling in my eyebrows.. and this has literally been a lifesaver... 
- Hair Tie: ..I get annoyed of my hair when I have it down for too long..
- Bobby Pins: ...well what else would you use bobby pins for?
- Office keys: ..for work.. obvi..

- Falsies (false lashes): ....I have a bad false eyelash addiction. Those one's are actually my "diva" lashes that I only wear for a night out.. but I have different ones that I wear depending on my mood haha

- Lip Liner & Lipstick: ..my [current] favorite pair of lippies that I've been wearing on a weekly basis.. Verve and Plum lipliner by MAC..

- UD Naked2 Palette: ..I think I just threw it in my purse one day when I forgot to put eyeshadow on and then just left it in there.

- Nail File: ...honestly I don't even know why I have that. I don't ever file my nails.
- Day-planner: ..I tend to forget eeeeeverything.. so it pretty much helps me keep track of things.
- Fiber One bar: ...that I ate right before taking this picture haha. But I do normally keep a few granola bars in my purse too.

...and the rest was pretty much just receipts from Beans&Brews (because I go there at least 3 times a week.... don't judge me) and gum/candy wrappers that I'm too lazy to take to the actual trash can so I just shove it in my purse.. :)

Couples Trip: Hawaii 2015

A couple months ago Rob and I made the spontaneous decision to go to Hawaii with his older sister, Tangi, and her husband Matt. It was something we had thought about but didn't really think that we were actually gonna go through with until all of a sudden.... BAM! We were packed and on a plane heading for Honolulu :) 

First of all, let me just point out that I'm not a huge fan of flying. And being that this was my first time ever to Hawaii I really wasn't looking forward to the 6 hour flight.. but it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I slept most of the time and I didn't die, which (according to my husband) is how I was acting.. [insert eye roll]..
But anyways,

THIS [see picture below] is what I saw when my husband woke me up and told me to look out the window.... 

Beautiful, right?? I know.
 Looking at this made me want to throw on my mermaid suit [because what girl doesn't have a mermaid suit?!] and dive into those waters!

Rob & I got there early afternoon on a Tuesday and had the whole rest of the day to spend with just the two of us. After we got settled in our hotel room I told Rob I wanted to go to the beach first..[duh!] and then the next thing I know, Rob is waking me up because I (apparently) was out like a lightbulb as soon as I laid down on the bed.... whoops.

Long story short, we ended up just hanging out at the hotel all night and slept in the next day while having a few extra hours to kill before the Asiata's {Tangi & Matt} arrived. 

Being that Hawaii is where my husband is originally from, he knew all the good places to take me to. We had breakfast at Zippy's and then took a drive down to Waipahu where he showed me the house he grew up in and the neighborhood he used to play in. You could tell that he loved showing me around his old stomping grounds and telling me stories of his childhood...
It was a humbling experience for sure, and I'm so happy I got to experience it with him.

After driving around Waipahu we met up with my little cousin [who is currently serving in the Honolulu, Hawaii mission] and his companion and took them out for lunch at Zippy's... Again...

Yes, we ate Zippy's twice that day.

Don't judge us.

Elder Kichiro & I

He will be returning home to Magna, Utah this upcoming August!

How exciting is that!?

After we dropped the Elders off we decided to go for a walk along Waikiki Beach.... I seriously just loved everything about Hawaii. It was so surreal. We didn't go swimming though.. only because I forgot to pack my string bikini ;) 

That night Tangi & Matt got there and we ended up just grabbing a bite to eat and heading back to the hotel.
The next day the four of us just drove around the island (sight seeing for the most part) until we ended up at Makapu'u Lookout.

The view was absolutely amazing.. 

Then of course we ended up picking up Robs brother Muka and his wife, Cassidi, up from the airport  that evening and drove straight from there to watch a dinner show that Rob's aunt had set us up for. 

The next day we spent a little bit of time at Laie Point before heading out to meet Rob's grandpa at the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC)... he seriously has the sweetest/cutest grandpa on earth... he had our tickets ready for us as soon as we arrived and showed us all his favorite islands.. best tour guide EVER!

All of us waiting to watch the canoe show..

Riding the canoe to visit Tonga & Samoa.. hands down, my two favorite islands from the trip!

This was at the dinner show before the actual night show...  

**I didn't get any pics from the big show only cause I didn't want to be rude and be taking pictures throughout the show haha 

All of us with Grandpa Kauasi

..and of course, even though this guy was annoying the hell outta me that day, you know I had to get one with just me and him.. :) 

We pretty much spent our entire day there and I loved it.

On our last day there, Robs family had a barbecue for one of his nieces birthday at Ala Moana beach and of course we had to get another picture! 

The weather.. the sand.. the water... everything was PERFECT that day.

Straight from the beach we went to meet his uncle for dinner and then after that we went to his aunts house for dessert. We seriously had that entire day planned out for us by his family and we were all so exhausted by the end of the day.

This picture was taken at Robs grandpa's house. 

That was the one thing that Rob wanted me to see before leaving... was the view from his grandpas balcony that he wouldn't stop talking about since we set foot off the plane...

It was breathtaking... and I couldn't get over how beautiful it was... it's definitely something that you would have to actually see with your own eyes to really soak it all in.

I wish I had a better camera since the majority of these pics were from my phone... but all in all it was a pretty successful trip!

Rob and I are definitely planning on going back hopefully later this year or early next.

Pray, He is there..

I think the hardest part about blogging is starting it... I'm pretty sure that I must've re-typed the beginning of this blog over 20 times before I decided that I'm just going to type whatever's on my mind and leave it how it is... so here it is...

This past Sunday I had an experience that I've been wanting to blog about.. it's been on my mind since then and I've just been kind've amazed since it happened... 

-To shorten the story a little bit, before I had found out that I miscarried I had gotten into a really bad argument with my husband and said a lot of things that left me with feelings of guilt. Even though my husband forgave me for it, I didn't know why I was still feeling the way I did... like I still had heavy weights on my shoulders.. And as days went by I felt like the guilt then lead to feelings of hate.

I hated everything and everyone.

I was irritable at every little thing my husband would do or say.. and I found myself making up excuses just to add fuel to my fire. And because I was so full of guilt and hate, I became very depressed. It was a side of depression that I never thought I would find myself in... I felt like I was a failure.. I felt so upset and angry at how my life turned out and I was taking it all out on the people who I love. 

Terrible, right? 

..It's like you don't think that it would be that serious but then you find yourself having hateful thoughts towards the people who have done nothing but love you and it just consumes your mind... your actions... everything. I know Satan must've gotten into my head somehow because I was feeling a lot of things I never thought I would feel.. and anyone who really knows me, knows that I'm far from being a negative person and that guilt, hate, regret and depression don't fall into my description. But every part of me fell into a dark hole and I felt like I needed someway to pull myself out.

I woke up Sunday morning and decided that I didn't want to go to church because of how I felt.. and seeing/talking to people was just something I didn't feel like doing because I was just depressed and wanted to be left alone.. So my husband went without me. 

While he was gone I broke down in my room and sat alone on my bed literally bawling my eyes out.... and that's when I got down on my knees and poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father asking him to forgive me.
I told Him that I was sorry for the way I've been...
and asked him to forgive me for all the hateful thoughts/feelings that I had..
I asked Him to forgive me for what I had said to my husband in our argument that left me with guilt and regret.
I asked Him to forgive me for being blind to my own selfish actions, and to please help me to understand and see the wrong that's overcome my mind so that I can make it right...
And I asked him to please fill my heart with happiness and love and to help me find strength to truly understand His plan for me so that I can no longer live in my past.

 ----I know that people say it all the time to pray because He is listening... but on Sunday I honestly felt like he was right beside me with His arms wrapped around me as I was on my knees weeping & praying to Him. I can't even explain the feeling I felt at that moment other than I literally had a change of heart. 

I felt genuine peace in my heart. 

.....and it was like everything that I was feeling earlier that week just magically disappeared and I was myself again. I felt His presence and it was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt in my life. Just to have that feeling of confirmation that He was there and He was listening to me, made me so grateful.

Before that day I never really truly understood the power of prayer... and since then I've just been so amazed at how different my days have been. Later that night I e-mailed my little brother who is serving his mission in Nuku'alofa, Tonga.. I shared with him my experience and told him about how I was feeling and here's part of his reply: 

"You can look at all your troubles now Nikki in a way of sorrow, hate, depression and feeling sorry for yourself because you feel hopeless, you cant help yourself, or anybody. So you start to have feelings of Satan. But I want you to look at everything in a way that Jesus did.  When he suffered for you, Robert and your kids while in the Garden, do you think he suffered so that you can feel like that?"

This stuck with me.. because he's right. He also reminded me  that Satan wants me to think that I'm fighting all my trials alone when really I have Heavenly Father to help me fight my battles:

"We already know who He wants us to be, in the BoM, the vision for everybody, is to 'inherit the things of The Father'. Everything he has, he wants to give to us, but the way to get it, is His way.  Trust in Him Nikki, turn to him in everything, and NEVER FACE ADVERSITY ALONE, for Jesus is there, and has done it all for us, in The Garden. "

I don't think anyone could ever really understand how this whole thing has changed my perspective on things and how it's made me feel.

I'm so grateful for my family, for the gospel, and for my Heavenly Father who continues to bless me and my family.