time & eternity: our temple sealing

OCTOBER 24th,2015

A day that had always crossed my mind but never thought would actually happen...

my husband and I were sealed for time & eternity in the Salt Lake City temple.

For those of you who know me and my husband, you know that we've definitely come a long way.
As most people would say, being raised in the LDS church we always knew that the teachings were true... we just didn't necessarily live the way that was expected for members of the church.. and for some reason I was content with that.
I settled for less.. and saw nothing wrong with how we were choosing to live our lives.
Now that I think about it, I'm guessing that was satan's doing.. making you think that whatever you're doing behind closed doors is fine because "everyone else is doing it"...

But then devastation and heartache happened... and it led me to think that I must be doing something so wrong that God had to punish me not once, but twice.
I prayed to Him, and He listened.
As a mother, and I'm sure I speak for all mothers when I say, that if I had a child here in the physical world I would do ANYTHING for them. But how can I be a good mom when I have children that aren't here with me in the physical world?

A little while ago, Rob and I were laying in bed and he turns to me and asked me why it feels like we're not getting anywhere with life in general... why it feels like we're just in the same spot and not making any moves to be better? I really didn't know how to answer that other then letting him know that I felt the same way. The next day he got a message from a friend of his that wanted to dedicate a scripture to us...

"And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven." 
D&C 137:10

I strongly believe that this was my answer--- knowing that my children are already safe in the presence of God and in order for me to see them again I must be able to live righteously and worthily here on earth... and I don't know about you guys, but the thought of not being able to be with my kid(s) in the afterlife, in the celestial kingdom, because of the decisions that i've made here... would make me feel like I've failed as a bereaved parent.

So Rob and I decided to take the first step in temple classes.... to help us understand things better and see where we go from there. This being our second attempt, we took temple classes while we were in Arkansas but almost never made it to church and/or didn't fully pay attention to the lessons. Therefore, we ended up not finishing them.
Yes i know, we suck.
But THIS time around was different, and you could definitely feel the difference when you fully open up your heart to the lessons as opposed to sitting there and hearing it but not actually listening to what's being said.... You get me? If you're married you might understand this because my husband is a perfect example of this! lol

But as the lessons continued we just wanted to know more..... more about the temple... more about the blessings... about why it's important to wear garments.. more about why things are the way they are and why we should keep commandments and covenants you make within the temple. I mean always knew that it was important to do so.... but I never really understand WHY until now. And it sounds really bad, but after 23 years I finally feel as though I get it.

I could seriously write a novel about my experience and my thoughts and feelings when going through the temple, but it's honestly something that you have to experience on your own. When YOU really and truly want to and not when you're forced to do it because that's what everyone else wants you to do.
My only advice is to do it when YOU are ready.

By no means do I consider myself perfect in any way, but working towards that has now become my mission. This started out as a something I was doing for my perfect babies in heaven.... but ended up being something much more for myself and my husband as well. Not only has it strengthened our marriage, but it's also helped us draw closer to our Heavenly Father.
 I've noted in my past posts that I felt as though there was a part of me that was missing, and that void has now been filled. And I can honestly say that after going through the temple, the only regret that I had was not doing it sooner.

Oh how forgiving is our Savior..

today.

Today Rob & I got our temple recommends :)

It's been a long time coming....... 

but when it feels right, it's right.

life: the update

Hello all :)

It's been quite a few months since I've blogged (obviously) so as you know, this will be an update post on my life and what's been going on since then... 

After being on family medical leave (FMLA) for about a month, I decided to return to work and try [keyword: TRY] to get back into the swing of things. I spent those 4 weeks thinking.... a lot.... about my life... about my family..... about my friends... and I just really, really, really wanted to be able to feel normal again. To put myself back on track. Plus I wanted to be able to stay busy so that I couldn't  spend my days cooped up inside my house feeling sorry for myself.

 I'm sure you all understand. 

For those of you who don't know, I work in the apartment management industry as a leasing agent. My job is pretty simple..... to lease apartments to prospects who are in search of an apartment home. There are lots of other duties that would apply to me as well, however, I will save that for another time. haha. So anyways, I started back at work at a brand new property which, I felt was sort of a relief for me. I had gotten to know a lot of the residents at my former complex and going back to that property after everything that happened would've put me in a situation where I would've had to explain myself to everyone.... and that was something that I honestly did NOT want to do. So this gave me a chance to start fresh at a brand new place with new people and a new mindset.
Once again, the Lord was definitely on my side. [insert thumbs up]

It's been 6 months since and for the first time I actually feel like this is where I need to be. I love and am so grateful for my job. Yes, it could be very stressful and I always be swearin' up and down that I'm gonna quit tomorrow (lol)..... but y'all know I don't be saying anything once payday rolls around. hahaha.

As for me and the husband... 

we just recently celebrated our 4 years of marriage :)

Last year we spent our anniversary in Park City for the weekend at The Waldorf Astoria which was crazy expensive..

[see picture below]

Talk about fancy-shmancy.... 

It was beeeeeautiful inside and the rooms were amazing. But again, very expensive and probably only something we'd do once in awhile and if we were able to stay longer than just two days.

This year we decided to stick with our "staycation" idea but instead of spending the big bucks on the hotel, we decided to go cheap on the hotel and use the big bucks on our activities (a.k.a dinner and shopping... for me! haha).. which ended up working out for us since my mom works at a hotel and got us a honeymoon suite for a lower price. 

We ended up staying on the east side of Salt Lake City closer to the canyons and spent 3 days just enjoying each others company and making the best out of our time together before going back to work.

I was seriously on cloud9 the whole time and I absolutely loved it.

My husband is a very simple man... and I love that it doesn't take much to impress him...

I guess another year married to him wouldn't hurt.. ;) lol - 

But every single day is a new day for the both of us to become better people and better spouses for each other. The end of the year is drawing near and I'm just about ready to see what 2016 has in store for us.

Also, not sure if I mentioned it before, but the he's also been enjoying his job as well. He is a counselor for juvenile kids working full-time for the state of Utah :) It's seriously still so crazy to me that he wakes up every morning and goes to work instead of school..... only because 99.9% of our relationship was mostly spent with him doing something for school and/or football and me..... well.... shoooooooot just doin' me I guess! Lol. But now that that chapter has ended, it's really so awesome to  know that he'll be coming home after work is done. 

........and now for the star of this post. 

My favorite missionary

It's been a little over a year since my brother has been out on the mission field and his weekly e-mails are my constant reminder of how much the Lord loves me. He's matured so much since he's been out there and you can tell that he's fallen in love with the Lords' work and the people of Tonga. On days where I don't feel like myself, I refer to his emails to comfort me and remind me why it's important to not give up.

I am one proud sister.

Elder Lolohea is more than halfway done and I am more than excited to welcome him home this time next year!

Nope, not me! haha 

....my older sister Maile is expecting yet another baby girl this upcoming November! And since that's my birthday month (a.k.a thee best month in the whole entire solar system) I told my sister it only makes sense to name her after me. Lol. Duh! haha

I'm already overly obsessed with all my nieces, so I cannot wait until this little diva makes her debut so I can spoil her rotten.

As for me, I think that for right now I just want to focus on being a healthier me. Or at least motivating myself to actual look like how I feel like on the inside. haha. I was thinking about possibly documenting my journey with my blog but........ I'll just keep that in the back of my mind for now. lol.

So as you can see, i've just kept it pretty mellow these passed few months. Rob and I are anticipating another big trip soon.. hopefully to Australia to visit my other sister and her family.

So we shall see.. :) 

until then,

XOXO

-Nikki

my favorite visitor

I love it when my sister visits from Colorado, because then it means that I get to spend time with this little girl whom I love so much.

My niece, 'Ivahanoa.

We love her company... :)

common marital pet peeves

I was trying to think of interesting things to blog about and I came across an idea where people had posted about their pet peeves within their marriages. Don't get me wrong though, I absolutely ADORE my husband. There is honestly no other person in this entire universe that I would want to share my life other than him. But lets be honest, marriage isn't all about the PDA and the lovey-dovey text messages... you gotta be willing to accept that person for ALL their flaws. Some of which you won't even discover until you start actually living with them. (Usually happens after the honeymoon stage..lol)
So I thought it would be really funny to see what other people found annoying about their spouses and be able to compare it to mine.

1) Distraction by electronic devices.

...Oh my hell, I can't stand it when I tell my husband something or ask him something and look at him to find he's not even listening because he's zoned into his phone. I WILL GRAB YOUR PHONE AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.... and I won't feel bad one bit. Sorry bout it!

2) Disguising empty cartons as full by returning them to the fridge.

....Not a huge issue in my marriage but it does happen from time to time. C'mon now, if it's empty then throw it away!

3) Clothing abandonment, mostly all over the bedroom floor.

....Rob swears it's just my clothes but yet I find myself folding all of his pants and his shirts when I start cleaning haha. This is a problem we BOTH need to work on.

4) Waterboarding towels by leaving them wet on the floor.

...LOL Rob does leave his wet towels everywhere but I don't mind. I just pick 'em up and throw 'em in the hamper.

5) Joke reruns by repeating the same jokes over and over again.

....LMAO this one is probably on my end. I think I'm hilarious and I laugh at my own jokes all the time. Sue me.

6) Trashing the car by leaving trash in it.

....Ouch, me again. This drives my husband nuts.. but I really do leave trash in there with the intentions of cleaning the car out once I get home from work. hahaha.

7) Toilet roll sabotage by not replacing it when it’s empty.

....Omg YES.. especially when the extra rolls are only an arm-length away.. and you are CLEARLY able to reach them but you still don't replace it. Oh, but I also hate when they do actually get and un-wrap the spare roll but then just leave it on top of the sink or on the floor..... like seriously?!! It takes TWO seconds out of your life to change a toilet paper roll, get it together.

8) Rude awakenings by making noise when you’re still sleeping.

....my husband's snore sounds like a bear... but a bear that's getting choked and trying to gasp for air. I literally have to punch his chest to get him to stop.

9) Chewing like a farm animal and other bad table manners.

....HAHAHAHA I'm laughing to keep from crying because my husband tells me all the time that I chew gum like a cow. A "ratchet cow" in his words.. 

10) Chronic lateness.

...Yup, Rob knows I HAAAAAATE waiting.. so when he's late picking me up somewhere I'm in the worst mood ever and can be so rude. lol. My patience is very thin when it comes to my husband and that's something that I'm working on.. hahaha

11) Talking while you’re trying to watch a movie.

...Hahaha damn it! Me again.. Rob absolutely hates whenever I throw in my two cents during movies because 90% of the time I'm right about what happens and it ruins the movie for him. LOL- my bad boo..

12) Bad hygiene by ‘forgetting’ to shower, brush teeth, or change underwear.

...thankfully, my husband actually has really good hygiene.

13) Refusing to suggest specific foods, restaurants, movies, activities.

...haha so i'm indecisive sometimes, so what!?

14) Waiter bullying by being needlessly rude to waiters.

...I was a waitress for my first job so trust me when I say that I understand the struggle. Therefore, I pretty much force my husband to be nice and tip good anytime we go out to eat... haha. 

15) Food pirating by plundering food and deserts off your plate.

...hahaha Rob hates when I do this- Anytime he asks me if I'm hungry, 85% of the time I say no. And then when he has his plate of food and is eating it I ask him if I can have some and then end up eating the rest of it LOL

16) Climate change by manipulating thermostats or windows without previous negotiation.

..yes, I get hot easily during the night and like to leave the window open.. but he gets irritated because he gets cold easily and wants to shut it.. lol. It's a never-ending battle with that.

17) Putting private pictures up without your consent.

...haha this isn't an problem really but majority of the time when Rob & I try to take pictures I ALWAYS look horrible, but he'll look really good. Or when I finally get a good picture of me, he won't like the way he looks so we end up not posting anything haha but sometimes he'll just go right ahead and post one of the ones where he looks hott and I look like I have 4 chins. Yea, EXTRA annoying.

19) Packing the whole closet for an overnight trip.

....I know it irritates Rob when I overpack but HELLO? I'd rather overpack than under-pack.. the last thing I want while on a trip is that I forgot something... so in order to avoid that I pack everything :) haha he complains while i'm packing but he doesn't complain when he forgets something and I was a step ahead of him and packed it for him. lol. Men, I tell ya.... they think they know everything!

20) Turning into a baby at the first sign of a cough or cold.

....Aha! This is me. I seriously expect Rob to do everything and anything for me if I'm sick, even though I'm perfectly capable, and he knows it too, and tells me "You're not a baby". But ends up doing it all for my anyways haha One of the many reasons why I love that guy ;) 

21) Used tissues left around the house.

...this doesn't really fall into the "tissue" category but am I the only one who's husband blows his nose in the kitchen dish towels and then just puts it back on the counter?!

22) Selective hearing.

...one time Rob asked me what I wanted from Taco Bell and I said, "A cheesy double beef burrito."..... then two minutes later he says, "Wait, a cheesy chicken taco what??"

[insert idiot face] OR.. there's always that time when I say to my husband, "We should go eat here, I heard it's really good." and he says, "No I don't want to go there it sounds gross." and then ALL. OF. A. SUDDEN... days later he says to me, "Hey my friend told me about this place to eat at called [insert place that I had told him about] and he said it's good so we should go try it!".......... like reeeeally? That's funny because that was the freaking place I was talking about, you big dummy.

Okay I'm done. haha once again, my husband drives me crazy. But if he can still love me for my bad habits of leaving trash in our car and talking during a movie, then I sure as hell can love him for his selective hearing and his choking bear snoring ;)

what's in your bag?

It's a slow day in the office today.... 

and I've been wanting to do a "what's in your bag?" post ever since I read one that my sister-in-law did awhile back...

To be honest I've never really been into purses until I hit like my senior year of high school. I just didn't care for them.... until I realized how convenient they were and how cute they can be when paired with a good outfit. haha.

This is the one I am currently using and have been for the past 3 months(?).. I normally switch out my purses after awhile but honestly I've just been too lazy to do so..

I got it on sale at Francesca's which is where I've been purchasing my purses from lately. They have thee. cutest. purses. ever.. and I almost always find one I love every time I go in.

Before this one I got a grey one there too that I looooooved but pretty much wore it out until I got tired of it. 

Anyways, here's a pano of what's currently in my bag... I recently cleaned it out too so I apologize if the items I have aren't interesting enough... haha

- my Coach wallet: ..my mom gave me that wallet for my 18th birthday and I've had it ever since. I keep telling myself that I need a new one but every time I go wallet shopping I feel like none of them compare to this one. Or maybe it's just a sentimental thing? I don't know.

- "loveswept" perfume by Philosophy: ...my all-time favorite perfume will forever be "hearts & daggers" by Ed Hardy... but I think it got discontinued awhile ago. This one is just my "back-up" perfume for when I forget to spray before leaving the house. I don't even know where I got it.... I think I took it from my sister the last time she came to visit.

- Pure Daydream lotion from Victoria Secret: ..I won that and a body butter at a bachelorette party (don't ask me how) I went to a couple months ago and I've just kept it in my purse since then. Also for when I wear skirts to work and forget to lotion my legs..

- RayBan sunglasses: ..Rob bought me those sunglasses just before our trip to Hawaii.. I'm surprised it's lasted me this long because I'm notorious for losing sunglasses right after I've purchased them.

- a pay stub: ..whoops, guess I forgot to take that out.

- Make-up bag: ..for those mid-day touch-ups.. which really only has like 4 different brands of black mascara in it and like 6 lip glosses.. all of which are like the same color.

- Anastasia Brow Wiz: ....my holy grail-  I NEVER leave my house without filling in my eyebrows.. and this has literally been a lifesaver... 
- Hair Tie: ..I get annoyed of my hair when I have it down for too long..
- Bobby Pins: ...well what else would you use bobby pins for?
- Office keys: ..for work.. obvi..

- Falsies (false lashes): ....I have a bad false eyelash addiction. Those one's are actually my "diva" lashes that I only wear for a night out.. but I have different ones that I wear depending on my mood haha

- Lip Liner & Lipstick: ..my [current] favorite pair of lippies that I've been wearing on a weekly basis.. Verve and Plum lipliner by MAC..

- UD Naked2 Palette: ..I think I just threw it in my purse one day when I forgot to put eyeshadow on and then just left it in there.

- Nail File: ...honestly I don't even know why I have that. I don't ever file my nails.
- Day-planner: ..I tend to forget eeeeeverything.. so it pretty much helps me keep track of things.
- Fiber One bar: ...that I ate right before taking this picture haha. But I do normally keep a few granola bars in my purse too.

...and the rest was pretty much just receipts from Beans&Brews (because I go there at least 3 times a week.... don't judge me) and gum/candy wrappers that I'm too lazy to take to the actual trash can so I just shove it in my purse.. :)

Couples Trip: Hawaii 2015

A couple months ago Rob and I made the spontaneous decision to go to Hawaii with his older sister, Tangi, and her husband Matt. It was something we had thought about but didn't really think that we were actually gonna go through with until all of a sudden.... BAM! We were packed and on a plane heading for Honolulu :) 

First of all, let me just point out that I'm not a huge fan of flying. And being that this was my first time ever to Hawaii I really wasn't looking forward to the 6 hour flight.. but it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I slept most of the time and I didn't die, which (according to my husband) is how I was acting.. [insert eye roll]..
But anyways,

THIS [see picture below] is what I saw when my husband woke me up and told me to look out the window.... 

Beautiful, right?? I know.
 Looking at this made me want to throw on my mermaid suit [because what girl doesn't have a mermaid suit?!] and dive into those waters!

Rob & I got there early afternoon on a Tuesday and had the whole rest of the day to spend with just the two of us. After we got settled in our hotel room I told Rob I wanted to go to the beach first..[duh!] and then the next thing I know, Rob is waking me up because I (apparently) was out like a lightbulb as soon as I laid down on the bed.... whoops.

Long story short, we ended up just hanging out at the hotel all night and slept in the next day while having a few extra hours to kill before the Asiata's {Tangi & Matt} arrived. 

Being that Hawaii is where my husband is originally from, he knew all the good places to take me to. We had breakfast at Zippy's and then took a drive down to Waipahu where he showed me the house he grew up in and the neighborhood he used to play in. You could tell that he loved showing me around his old stomping grounds and telling me stories of his childhood...
It was a humbling experience for sure, and I'm so happy I got to experience it with him.

After driving around Waipahu we met up with my little cousin [who is currently serving in the Honolulu, Hawaii mission] and his companion and took them out for lunch at Zippy's... Again...

Yes, we ate Zippy's twice that day.

Don't judge us.

Elder Kichiro & I

He will be returning home to Magna, Utah this upcoming August!

How exciting is that!?

After we dropped the Elders off we decided to go for a walk along Waikiki Beach.... I seriously just loved everything about Hawaii. It was so surreal. We didn't go swimming though.. only because I forgot to pack my string bikini ;) 

That night Tangi & Matt got there and we ended up just grabbing a bite to eat and heading back to the hotel.
The next day the four of us just drove around the island (sight seeing for the most part) until we ended up at Makapu'u Lookout.

The view was absolutely amazing.. 

Then of course we ended up picking up Robs brother Muka and his wife, Cassidi, up from the airport  that evening and drove straight from there to watch a dinner show that Rob's aunt had set us up for. 

The next day we spent a little bit of time at Laie Point before heading out to meet Rob's grandpa at the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC)... he seriously has the sweetest/cutest grandpa on earth... he had our tickets ready for us as soon as we arrived and showed us all his favorite islands.. best tour guide EVER!

All of us waiting to watch the canoe show..

Riding the canoe to visit Tonga & Samoa.. hands down, my two favorite islands from the trip!

This was at the dinner show before the actual night show...  

**I didn't get any pics from the big show only cause I didn't want to be rude and be taking pictures throughout the show haha 

All of us with Grandpa Kauasi

..and of course, even though this guy was annoying the hell outta me that day, you know I had to get one with just me and him.. :) 

We pretty much spent our entire day there and I loved it.

On our last day there, Robs family had a barbecue for one of his nieces birthday at Ala Moana beach and of course we had to get another picture! 

The weather.. the sand.. the water... everything was PERFECT that day.

Straight from the beach we went to meet his uncle for dinner and then after that we went to his aunts house for dessert. We seriously had that entire day planned out for us by his family and we were all so exhausted by the end of the day.

This picture was taken at Robs grandpa's house. 

That was the one thing that Rob wanted me to see before leaving... was the view from his grandpas balcony that he wouldn't stop talking about since we set foot off the plane...

It was breathtaking... and I couldn't get over how beautiful it was... it's definitely something that you would have to actually see with your own eyes to really soak it all in.

I wish I had a better camera since the majority of these pics were from my phone... but all in all it was a pretty successful trip!

Rob and I are definitely planning on going back hopefully later this year or early next.