sleepless nights.

I don't know why, but its always the times when it's super late and I'm ready to knock out from a long day that I suddenly get the urge to blog... I always, always, ALWAYS find myself not sleeping because I have so many things on my mind that I just can't let be. And I hate it because that makes me sleep in allll day the next day.... :|

Tomorrow (or today I guess?) is Friday.. another day closer to forever with my hubby :) - I'd be lying if I said everythings been perfect thus far because it most definitely had its rough patches. But then again, a strong couple is the kind that still stands when you've gone through everything that's supposed to bring you down.

He misses home. We both do.

I know I got to go home earlier this month to see my family but what I didn't mention was that the whole trip I honestly felt selfish. I can't find a better way to explain it..... but I felt that I was getting exactly what I wanted while my husband wasn't getting anything at all. I got to see my family & friends after doing nothing when I was in Arkansas. Does that make sense? Like, that I didn't deserve to see them as much as my husband did. He's the one trying to balance church, school, football while still trying to keep me happy. Yet I'm the one who got to fly home... But don't get me wrong I had an amazing time! Just kinda think he deserved that 'amazing time' more than I did.

We're both homesick, but I know that he's more homesick than I am. I'm helping him get through it though, after all I did go through homesick hell when I was in Missouri. Lol. No but really, going through those extremely hard times in Missouri made me promise myself that I don't ever wanna see Rob go through the same thing. 

I do my best to comfort him when he starts feeling uneasy.... Just wish that there was something I could do. 

*Okaaaay, re-reading what I just blogged I sound super depressed. Lol. Its really not that big of a deal guys, we're doing just fine! Haha. It was just on my mind. Notice how I totally went off track? Yea, typical me -__-

I've also found myself having the most weirdest dreams again. I don't know if its how I'm sleeping, what I eat before bed or who I'm thinking about before I sleep but they're seriously the most strangest dreams ever.

I think two nights ago, I had a dream that my right eye was glued shut..

[Like, is that a sign that I'm gonna lose my eye soon or something?!]

Then I had a dream that someone broke into our apartment while I was sleeping and it was Slaw (spell check), the deformed brother with practically no teeth from the movie, The Goonies..

[Um, yea.. Best believe I be lockin' the door everytime Rob leaves in the morning!]

...but then there would be those type of dreams where you wake up knowing that you had a dream but have no idea what it was about or anything. Lol. I would wake up Rob in the middle of the night telling him I just had a nightmare, then when he asks, "What was it about?", I would say, "I don't know I just remember feeling scared" Lol. Anyone ever had that?! ....Or am i going crazy over here?? Lol

Maybe its just me. But its definitely freaked me out to the point where I get scared easily at night. Lol. I should probably get some sleep now..... Before I start talkin more nonsense. Lol.

Night y'all :)

.xoxo.

the moustache.

Honestly, I don't like moustaches. I think they're ugly... And of course this guy ends up growing one out to irritate me.

He really thinks he's top notch with his moustache.. Lol.

Holly Molly

So starting this blog, I figured I could either write you guys a reeeaaallly long blog or cut it short into sections of whats been going on in my life since my last post- I was thinking about doing a vlog.... but then again.. that would make me nervous and when I'm nervous I become reeallly awkward. No but for real. ANYWAYS.

Holy eff! I can't even believe how long it's been since my last post! I've literally been MIA from the blogging world since my laptop broke :( Sorry guys! I know you missed me! Lol. Mind you I'm in the library computer lab.. lol. Sooooo much has happened I don't even know where to begin! First off..

Elder Atiga

About 2 weeks ago (I think?), I went home for my brother-in-laws farewell(Muka). It was such a beautiful day and such an amazing talk that he gave in sacrament that I can't even explain it on here. Lol. The whole time he was talking though I think the only person I was thinking about was my husband, because he wasn't able to make it out for his brothers farewell :( Him and his brother are really close, and talking to my husband on the phone afterwards I could tell that he was really upset that he couldn't be there. I know he might've even cried a little, but just didn't tell me. Muka is going to be an amazing missionary! And I'm SO excited for him and his girlfriend Cassidi :)

Aside from that, spending time with my family and in-laws were nothing short of amazing. The days before coming home, I found myself angry all the time... I would even look for reasons to be mad even if it was something small. I don't know what was wrong with me so don't ask. Lol. I felt horrible cause I took it out on Rob. Not meaning to, I just was so mad at EVERYTHING! Lol. Looking back on it I really think that I was just in a bad mood because I hadn't seen my family and I didn't have friends yet, so i was literally by myself everyday. Lol. Crybaby status.. I know. Lol. But coming home was really all I needed to feel better :) The trip was short, but I loved it. Especially since I got to see my little nieces who will be moving to Australia in 2 months........ I think that might've been the last time I get to see them :(

Okay, I'm gonna stop now before I start crying in the computer lab. Lol.

Just know I loved my little trip back home :)

Babies?..

I'm still not pregnant guys... so quit asking. Lol. JK- but it's not like we haven't thought about it. Rob and I would absolutely LOOOOVE to have kids, but we just know that NOW wouldn't be the right time. Even though I love kids, I know that I myself isn't ready at all. I spoke to a friend of mine from church about it and she had told me that I'll know when i'm ready, I'll just feel it is what she had said. So, sorry guys.. who knows when i'll have that "ready feeling" haha. Maybe next year? Lol

Black Beauty

Our new car! Lol. We FINALLY gotta car... thanx to my in-laws :) and we love it. It's definitely taken a load off of our shoulders.. Rob and I decided to name it Black Beauty. Lol. But who knows, it could change tomorrow. Lol. We were so excited to have a car of our own that we went on an exploration.. lol. We wasted gas and drove around what seemed like all of Arkansas. I sent a picture of the truck to my dad with a text saying, "Our new truck! You like??"- and he texted back, "Holly Molly!"..... but I think he meant 'Holey Moley'. Lol.

Jobless..

Yep, still no job :( I was just telling my sister-in-law the other day that I've filled out what seems like 3541853873541 applications! Lol. No really though, I do. And I still haven't recieved a call back from anyone. It sucks not being able to help out. I know that Robs checks cover everything, but we always talk about how great it would be to have that extra money just in case. I just hate that feeling of not being productive, that "loser" feeling, ya know? Not that I blame Rob or anyone for making me come out here knowing that I'd have trouble finding a job but that's just how I've always been. Don't get me wrong though, I absolutely love it out here and I wouldn't change coming here for the world. Just wish I had a job. Lol. Speaking of, I just had an interview before coming here to the library.. and I'm feeling pretty good about it :) lol

Friends?

I've made some more! Lol. Aren't you guys proud of me?? Haha. That's all. Lol

Husband?

Well, I'm still madly in love with this guy. Lol. He's doing good! I'm so proud of him.. and I swear he's getting bigger by the day! Not over-exaggerating I promise. Lol. I'm so excited to see how these next few years are going to turn out between us. We've only been married for a little over 2 months and I'm not tired the married life yet. Lol. Everytime we're together it's literally like two little kids. Lol. He really does bring out the little girl in me and I LOVE IT! :) And no matter how evil I am to him, cuz I can be the biggest witch you've ever known (just ask him!), he STILL is the sweetest guy to me.

This is random, but just the other night we literally stayed up till 3 in the morning laughing- I don't even know what we were laughing about............... or do I? Lol. We have so many inside-jokes that I could write a full on novel full of 'em, with small print and like 2 million chapters! (Ok i'm exaggerating but you get the picture). I literally haven't seen Rob laugh that hard in my entire life! Now for me, I laugh at almost everything. Sometimes I'll even find myself laughing out of no where over something that happend like... 2 months ago?! Lol. But Rob, he laughs, maybe even giggles a little. But that night he was literally laughing so hard his eyes got watery and he had to hold his stomach because it was hurting so bad. Lol. I just thought that was the cutest thing ever.. ;) Lol. *sigh* I just felt like if you can be with someone for almost 6 years and STILL be able to have that kinda fun with them... what else is there to look forward to? :)

Wellp, my time is running out (No really, they have a time limit on these computers.. lol)- but I just wanted to leave a small update :) Hopefully i'll be able to keep up more now that I have a library card. Lol. Just so I won't have to try and cram all of it together in one post :/

Till next time.

XOXO

-nik