HE really does work in mysterious ways.

So a few posts ago, I had said that I was going to make it a goal to blog every Sunday just to give a heads up as to what was going to happen for that week... So much for that goal right!? Lol. But anyways, I honestly can't tell you everything that has happened since my last post. Let's just say this past weekend was MORE THAN ENOUGH, but all in a good way. I don't even know where to start!

This is probably really sad and I know you all are gonna think I'm a bad daughter, but one day I just happened to realize that I knew absolutely nothing about my mothers past. Like NOTHING. I didn't know where she went to school, I didn't know how many brothers or sisters she had, didn't know where she grew up... All I really knew was that she was born in Samoa and came to the United States when she was young. I also have, till this day, never met my grandpa and my grandma had only came down and visited at least once or twice. Only because tickets from Samoa were so expensive and we or they just never had the money. They still live in Samoa with my moms youngest sister though, I think.

Through time I started meeting people who I later found out were my cousins on my moms side. I was happy because my siblings and I usually spend our family functions at my dads side of the family. Not that that was a problem but I was always just so curious why we never, and I mean NEVER, did things for my moms side. Every time I tried asking her about her past, she always changed the subject or became very bitter and would ask me to leave her alone. I never understood that, until now.

A couple of weeks ago, I had recieved an email from a female friend on facebook. I remember adding this her awhile back before I left to college but I didn't know her then nor have I ever seen her before that but it was just my understanding that we were related on my moms side (the joys of Facebook right!? LOL) and with polynesians, you know how that goes. Lol- but anyways, since my sister's wedding is coming up we were having alotta trouble trying to hand out invitations to family members, even if we never met them. So I decided to write her a message asking for her address, and her reply was something I NEVER expected.

Reading the message, I was speechless. Completely stuck and lost for words. At first I was really angry, but not definitely not at her............... I was mad at my mom. Mad for not telling her kids and mad that she had kept this a secret from us for so long.

Her name is Tupouleota, and she is my older half sister :)

I don't think anyone could imagine that look on my face and my reaction when I was reading this message, the message from her telling me that she is my moms eldest daughter. I was angry (at my mom), shocked (at such BIG news), sad (for her that she grew up knowing she had siblings but never really got the chance to meet them till now), and happy (that I had another sister!) ..it was all just mixed emotions. When my dad came home, I showed him the message and to my surprise he said he knew about it all along but felt as though it was my moms place to tell us, not his. That's when he sat me down and explained to me my moms story.

My mom was born in Samoa and when she was 2 years old, my grandma had given her up to a friend of the family who brought her to California and raised her as their own. That was also the last time she saw her siblings. She went to highschool, but not college.. and the apparently the family she had lived with treated her badly. Which explains why my moms bitter most of the time. Then 4 years after that she had Tupou, but left her in California and came to Utah. Where she met my dad.

After confronting my mom about it she broke down in tears and asked if she could have Pous number so she could call and speak with her. This past Saturday was my moms 48th birthday, but there was also a wedding that was going on that same day........... and if things weren't crazy enough.. Tupou was related to the groom of that wedding and had planned on coming down to Salt Lake this past weekend. Coincidence? I think not. Lol.

Long story short, my sisters and I had planned to meet up with her before she left back to California. On our way to pick her up, Pumpkin and I were sitting in the car with our stomachs filled with butterflies. Lol. We were nervous yet excited yet scared she wouldn't like us.. all at the same time. Lol. Right when we saw her, Pumpkin and I got out of the car to give her a hug and the very first thing we noticed was that she looked just like our mom! :) Not kidding. She was small and petite just like her too..... Ain't it crazy how things work out? :)

So we decided to take her out to Leatherbys and just get to know her a little bit.

My 1st thought about her:

She's so pretty

2nd thought:

She sounds like an amazing independent young woman

3rd thought:

Why can't I be skinny like her? Lol..

..I think the whole time we were there I just kept staring at her thinking to myself how crazy it was that she looked like my mom! Lol. Same size, same hands, same facial features.. Is that creepy? The more kept describing herself the more I just saw our mom in her. It was so surreal I almost don't believe it happened. But it did. Afterwards we took her to FINALLY meet my mom after 25 years.. I think I was more nervous than she was! Lol. But watching my mom walk towards her with open arms and then watching the both of them hugging each other with tears of joy in both their eyes was truly the most loving and heart-warming thing I've ever seen in my life. Pumpkin and I just stood there watching them with our eyes filled with tears of joy as well.

I'm happy for my mom who finally got to meet her eldest daughter, and I'm happy for Tupou that she finally got to meet her mother. My siblings and I will forever be grateful that Heavenly Father led her to us and the He helped fill in the emptiness that our family had. Our time with her was short but we are very much looking forward to hopefully seeing her again in the near future.

The lord really does work in mysterious ways. I know he has a plan for all of us and by following it we'll get to eternal happiness. Even though sometimes things happen and you don't understand WHY or HOW it happened, sometimes you get caught in a situation where you feel as though EVERYTHING is going wrong or falling apart, or even when some of the things you don't expect to happen... Just happen. But we just have to remember that it's all for a reason :)

Till next time..

.xOxO.

Speaking my mind.

..So my dads mad at me, again. He likes to tell people that I'm his "problem child"- only because I'm always the one telling him how I really feel about things. Whereas britt (my sister right above me) always is too scared to say something. Sometimes she even has me do the dirty work for her.. But i don't mind. My dads just that stubborn type where if someone doesnt say anything, its never gonna change. So today, my dad just comes into my room and says, "Ur speaking on sunday, I told the bishop you'd do it".... The only reason why this made me mad was because my dad has a habit of just volunteering us for things without asking first. So of course I said, "Well jeeze, thanx for asking me first..." Then the aruging began..
If he would've just asked me first, I would've been happy to speak... But the fact that this is what?? The FOURTH time he 's done this?.. Its really starting to take its toll on me.. Ughh.
Jus thought i'd vent for alittle. Lol.

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Quote of the day.

"God answers in 3 ways; He says yes, & gives you what you want. He says no, & gives you something better. Or he says wait, & gives you the best"

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happy for him.

Football has played a significant part in my boyfriends life for a very long time. When I started dating him in highschool, I wasn't able to make much of his games due to my volleyball schedule.. but I would always hear from my friends who were there how good Robb did. I never doubted him once to be a bad player, but it did make me sad that I never really got to see him play. Even though I was never there, he would text me just before the game started and right after it ended. Sometimes he would even text me during halftime, just to say a quick "I love you" before going back in :) but really, football was just something he loved to do. We never really thought he would go far with it... as bad as that sounds. Not that we doubted it, but it was just out of our minds.

He had made plans to go to Snow College and play for 2 years then just be done. But after red-shirting for the first year, he spent that next summer busting his butt in the weight room and doing workouts everyday. I admit, I was a little jealous that Robb was spending time with the weights more than he was with me... Lol. But I got over it once I saw how big his muscles were getting. Lol. Jk ;) I could just tell he was real serious about improving his game on the field. And all that hard work definitely paid off :)

Today, my handsome boyfriend (verbally) committed to the University of Arkansas :) He will be signing the letter of intent next week to make his committment official and I can't tell you how excited I am for him!! :) Words definitely can't describe how proud and how happy I am for him that he's made it this far in his football career. Robb has worked so hard the passed few years and I don't think anyone else deserves this opportunity more then he does. With the support of his family keeping him motivated he has come such a long way... Most people say that everything happens for a reason, and for whatever reason that THIS is happening, I know it's for a good purpose :) for both me, and him.

How bout them razorbacks!? LOL :)

the cutest thing ever.

On our way to the mall, my friend and I had pulled up next to a car at the stoplight and on my side there was an elderly couple, holding hands :) It made me think about how that's how me and my boyfriend hold hands in the car. Not only were they holding hands, but they both had their oxygen tanks in the middle. Lol- call me cheesey, but I just thought that was the cutest thing ever :)

Old love is just as great as young love :)

.xOxO.

stressed.

I'm pretty sure last week was one of thee most stressful weeks of my life. We had finally gotten a new coach for volleyball, and let's just say I think she's related to Hitler. Lol- no really though. Our practices have been nothing but non-stop running and jumping leaving me way too exhausted and tired to do anything, therefore, I started falling behind on my classes. Then of course I tried making an effort to do my work which took me HOURS! Literally. Sometimes I had to pull all-nighters which put my body and mind in terrible condition. It was just hell week for sure. I wasn't eating much because I tried to sleep every free-time I had because I was so tired, I couldn't concentrate in my classes because I was so worn out, and I didn't even talk to Robert that much because I was so busy :( But on top of everything..... all I could think about was going home.

It's FINALLY April, and the closer it gets to me going home the more homesick I get. I miss my stubborn father, my annoying mother, my rude little brothers, my loud and stinky nieces, and my sisters(as weird as that sounds. lol). To be honest the thought of being homesick had NEVER crossed my mind when deciding to attend school here in Missouri and I never thought I would fall under this category seeing as how excited I was to just "get out"- you know? But trust me, it's so tough out here without having my family near me.

*sigh* I'm happy its getting closer though. Because I absolutely cannot wait to be back in the city with my loved ones! ;) ..In the mean time I'm hoping my stress level will lower. Lol. Hopefully.

That is all.. not much I know. But it was just some things that were on my mind ;)

.xOxO.

there's no place like home.

This week is my spring break for my school and while everyone, or i'd say... about 90% of the campus is out having a blast in Panamal Beach City, Florida. And while they're out there relaxing on the beach, with their toes curled in the warm sand, sippin' on a margarita while getting a tan in the marvelous weather................... I'm here. In the small town of Fulton, Missouri. By myself. In this room the size of a jail cell. But am I complaining? (I don't know, am I? lol) A little bit, yeah. Lol.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much since I'm not entirely here by myself... right? Kitty is here with me, but she's in a sorority and her sorority house is across campus. We tried to make the best out of our break but doing little things. We had a movie night last nite with our good friend Morgan (lol) and baked choco-chip cookies with pizza :) So I guess you could say its not all that entirely bad. At least I get the lounge to myself, right? Lol.

But tonight? Tonight's just a different story. Everything just had to sink in as I was laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell to do. I starting thinking about how I was never bored like this at home because Pumpkin was always home with the babies and so I always had someone to play with. Then it hit me, and good ol' cry baby crystal took over me. I really miss home :(

Last semester, I was hit by the homesick truck almost every single night. It was horrible. I found myself almost crying randomly all the time but I just missed my family so much. Especially my daddy. This semester has been a lot better for me though, but better doesn't mean its entirely gone. I've learned to deal with the fact that I'm away, but nights like these is when you just have to let it out sometimes ya know? I know I did.

..So i'll just be here, wishing that the next month and a half will go by quick-

love you all & goodnight,

.xOxO.